Reply to Why are old people so scared of assisted living facilities?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Why are old people so scared of assisted living facilities?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And what if they really should not be living alone and need assistance? My mother has been suffering through this situation with my uncle, her brother-in-law. He cannot live alone anymore. He has been very sick, multiple surgeries for various things. The family dynamic is complicated as my uncle is/was an alcoholic. My younger cousin is highly dysfunctional, no help at all. My older cousin is more responsible, but lives in another state. He really needs help, but doesn't want to spend the money. Doesn't want someone in the house, bc a visiting nurse told him that people in your home steal. What's the recourse? My mother helps out, but is not his wife and wants to enjoy her retirement. His wife, my mother's sister, is deceased. If it were up to me, we'd find him a place and put him in there, either close to my mom or older cousin. The situation is absurd. Oh, and sometimes he just faints...[/quote]

The cousins cannot be of help even if functional if the parent wants no help. You cannot force it. How was he released after each surgery? Social work is not supposed to release to a home with no care.

This all is something I struggled with in therapy because I have a parent like this. I had to learn that this is the parent's choice. It will likely result in an ugly death from an accident, but it is the parent's free will. Said parent is truly rotting at home. I have seen so much better happen with family going to AL. Oh and the kicker is, I do believe there are cognitive issues, but have a sibling who convinced said parent not to undergo an evaluation all while sibling collects financial benefits. I have been doing the elderly parent and inlaw thing for close to a decade and have my own serious health issues now. I just cannot prevent the trainwreck.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics