Reply to Teenage Drinking - A hard no? Or can this be done responsibly?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Teenage Drinking - A hard no? Or can this be done responsibly?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Decide what's important to you, knowing that parties with drinks available are pretty much the norm in high school. I appreciate the "hard no" family's position, but you need to make peace with yourself that you are asking your kid to break rules/sneak around/do unsafe things so they don't get in trouble.  We decided safety was most important to us.  My 16yo ds is the sporty crowd and there are parties, I don't know if parents know drinks circulating or not. He has gotten the messaging (over and over again) that any mix of drinking/driving is a violation of trust so profound that his freedoms will be curtailed immediately, but that he will not get in trouble for calling us at any time for a ride home.  I think a lot of parents say that, but you've gotta mean it. So if he's going out we ask where, we talk about whether he's driving and what alterative plan is if not, if there is a designated driver (in his peer group there often is).[/quote]

This is our approach. Just a few weeks ago my 16 yo drove to her friends house and they had a few drinks. Her friends were encouraging her to drive home but she called us instead. My husband went to pick her up and said nothing other than “you made an excellent decision and we are proud of that.”  
If a teen wants to drink, they will. I just want her to be safe if she’s doing it. [/quote]

I have a hard time wrapping my head around letting my DD remain friends with those girls. Not only drinking but also encouraging drunk driving? Did you even call their parents?[/quote]

Nope. Not calling the parents. They already know. My daughter is very open about it (and pretty much everything else in her life).

I told her straight up that her friends suck for encouraging her to drive home drunk. She knows this, and knows they make other bad choices as well. I’m glad she made the right one.

I do discourage her from hanging out with these girls but I will not and cannot forbid her to do so. She goes to school with them and they live in the neighborhood. I won’t do anything to push her into lying to me about anything.  I’d rather her be honest with me and we can work through stuff together. [/quote]

I think it's great to have an open dialogue with one's child. I also think forbidding things when evidence presents itself can be warranted.  So many parents worry about pushing their kids into lying instead of whether or not they really should make some tough choices.  If my daughter's friends were trying to push her into doing something both unsafe and illegal, they would all hear from me.  This is bigger than a teenager can work out on their own.  Parents don't want to get involved anymore at risk of being helicopters, but in the process seem forgot that there are absolutely occasions that call for your direct involvement. This would be one for me, especially since it sounds like you know them personally.  Sometimes, you have to be the a&&hole.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics