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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm really starting to struggle with working a full time demanding job with a younger elementary schooler. My husband works a ton in an also demanding job. My job is as flexible as I could hope for in an industry that is notoriously inflexible, but it is not WFH, I have a commute, it's still more than 40 hours a week, dealing with external clients that have no boundaries in regards to my time. Our DC is very busy in activities, likes being busy and keeps asking for more. We have activities 4x a week. Two of those days are a short time commitment (45 min-hour) and the other 2 days are 3-4 hours each. Please don't comment that DC is overscheduled, this is how DC likes it. It's me that struggles... we are on the go constantly. There's never enough time to keep up with basic housework. We outsource cleaning 2x/mo. I do online grocery ordering, but basic things like putting clothes away after being washed are just completely neglected. Also, I used to be great at staying on top of everything and I'm just not anymore, despite it being in my calendar, I'm still missing things.

DH and I used to divide things more equally, but his job is more demanding and pays more than mine, so it's started shifting more to me. I am most definitely the primary parent. But my job is not an easy job. It requires a lot of critical thinking and management of projects, clients and employees. I just feel like something has to give. DC's childhood is flying by in a blur and I'm just stressed and tired 98% of the time.

Any advice?[/quote]

Move or change jobs. I know that sounds like a mega life change, but like you noted your child will only be a child for a little while. We moved into DC and I left litigation for in-house. It is salary restricted, but growth may be available in other sectors later. It's changed our lives. Having those 2 days as WFH allows me to be present and swap roles in a moment. We still do aftercare during school but I'm hope quickly to make it to his activities and I've been to every concert this year. It's worth it for me.

If you LOVE your job, move closer. If you can't afford or don't want to uproot DC from your community (which I TOTALLY GET), get another job. There is a ton out there with WFH. I'd go to a career coach in your industry or if you have recruiters reaching out, tell them your requirements and wait. This job market is funny but depending on what you do, something will come! Stay positive, change what you can change and understand that a little mess (HORRIBLE - I GET IT) never killed anyone. As long as it's clean -but and also, DC has to keep certain things clean and cannot continue to add activities. At a certain point, you have to let them know that they have to choose. They can do anything, but not everything: choose wisely! And let them live with their choices. They feel greater autonomy over their lives when you do that. And implement a chore chart. IF they're over 7 they can put their own clothes away (once you organize drawers and make sure their closet rod is reachable). My kids have had chores since 4 and it really REALLY helps them AND YOU. They feel like a contributing part of the household! It is amazing![/quote]

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