Reply to MIL wants to take kids out of the country without us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ds visited my parents for multiple trips to Canada when he was age 5 and up. No issues with it, though that’s obviously a little closer. I think most moms today are way over anxious about this stuff sorry. All that said, it’s ultimately your decision and I think it’s reasonable to say no.

And I also think it’s wrong of you to be criticizing your MIL SIL and DH about them wanting to this. As another Pp said it’s from a place of kindness. Why think the worst about them??  Why wouldn’t your response be “guys, I love this idea and I love that you are thinking about how to strengthen your relationships with DS and connect him with his family and heritage. But to be honest I’m a little uncomfortable with him being that far away from home at this age, so sadly it’s a no for now. But can we reconsider in a couple years?”[/quote]
+1. It’s kind of them to ask, and it’s reasonable for OP to say no.

FWIW, one of my aunts took me to visit another aunt in a foreign country when I was a pre-teen, and we had a blast. The government of the country was overthrown in a coup not too long after I visited, so it wasn’t exactly Canada, either. YMMV. [/quote]
+1 If MiL is competent I think it’s a wonderful opportunity for OP’s kids.  8 and 10 aren’t infants. The parents of a good friend of mine takes her grandchildren on a special trip each summer starting when the oldest was 9 or 10. Grandkids and grandparents  have an amazing time, my good friends get couple time alone and work time and all is well.  I would do it if my parents were healthy enough. [/quote]

This. The responses to this thread are bonkers. The language over the top. Elderly, disabled, squeezed in a tiny condo, coups, ambush, collusion…. You all seriously hate your MILs or you are all clinically anxious. Op has every right to say no, but the responses here demonstrate a way deeper pathology than just rational caution. [/quote]
+4 As PP said, it's reasonable to say, "Thanks for the offer but could we reconsider this when the kids are a little older?"  [/quote]

+1. Seriously.  As someone who didn’t travel overseas until I was in my 20s because my parents couldn’t afford it, I’m surprised very few people on this thread even acknowledge what a generous gift the MIL is offering and that these are the types of trips that are really special memories once the grandparents are no longer with us.[/quote]

This isn’t relevant to OP - she and the kids go overseas almost every year.[/quote]

If you refuse to acknowledge the difference between a trip where the parents go vs one where they don't attend, you're just being willfully obtuse.  Spending time alone with beloved relatives, without parents around, are what lifetime memories are made out of.  [/quote]

I’m saying OP isn’t expressing gratitude for the offer of an overseas trip like PP, who didn’t go overseas until her 20s, because this isn’t an uncommon trip for HER family and she doesn’t want it.[/quote]

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