Reply to MIL wants to take kids out of the country without us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Everyone involved is American. SIL just lives and works overseas. We take trips with them and the kids overseas almost once a year. DH is a pushover and gives in regularly to demands from MIL and SIL that overstep normal boundaries. The FaceTime call included the kids so no, it was not a private conversation. I don’t think they had bad intentions but they often request things from us and then act offended if we say no. Last year, SIL requested to stay with us, along with MIL for 3 weeks during the last month of school when i already had my own family coming for a week right after.  When I suggested another time, it didn’t go over well.

I’m fine doing a trip with them over the summer as long as we can get some separate time alone as a family. I would be okay if the kids stayed with her for a weekend while my husband and I traveled somewhere nearby. I’m just not okay with parents being across the ocean. I wouldn’t want my husband to go without me either. They simply want the experience of being alone with the kids.

I appreciate the responses because this is what I needed to know I wasn’t being unreasonable. [/quote]

I wouldn’t be ok with this either OP and I absolutely love my MIL!

I think there are two problems here - one your husband (obviously) and two, the fact that you are bothered by your in laws being upset with you.  The difference I think between you and me is that if my in laws were mad at me, I would be confident enough in my own judgment and read of the situation to know that I am being unreasonable and to stand my ground without worry.  I think you need to think about your own sensitivity here and why it bothers you so much that saying no “didn’t go over well.”  This doesn’t mean you can’t be a kind, thoughtful, helpful, loving relative!  You can be all of those things, and still let it roll off your back when your (reasonable, justified) actions upset someone else.[/quote]

DP.  This is an interesting and hits a lot of different issues in general.  I think the issue is conditioning -- so many of us have been conditioned to nice girls who don't make waves and are well liked.[/quote]

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