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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two, 6 and 3,and have struggled a lot with this question. My husband was staunchly opposed which made it easier, but still hard and sad. I'm starting to come around to just two, and here are some reasons why:

1. I am so sad about my kids growing up, but a third won't stop that from happening. I'll be back in this spot in 3 years again, only with more older kids to manage.

2. Like some other posters here, I've always gotten kind of a weird vibe from parents of 3. Most parents of 1 or 2 seem to unequivocally enjoy it. Parents of 3 often have kind of an edge to them, and I feel like many of them regret it but won't admit it (to themselves).

3. I wouldn't say I feel overwhelmed with two, but I'm definitely close to my limit. I figured that if I DID somehow discover a well of energy and money to dedicate to thea third kid, I could dedicate it to something else instead. So maybe I'll never have a third kid, but I'll start a business instead. Or I'll travel the world and learn another language. Or I'll go back to school. Idk. At the moment I'm too tired to do any of this, but it helped to tell myself that there were still additional investments of time I could make - having another kid wasn't the only way to add new fulfillment to my life. A part of me thinks I am just dreading stagnation.
[/quote]

I have 3 kids and these are very good points. My 3 kids are 9, 7 and almost 4 and I am only now starting to feel like I am not at the end of rope 100% of the time. I love my 3 kids and I am so happy I have them. The third is a boy after 2 girls which makes me even happier I decided to go for 3 because he is just very different from his sister and the experience is so special. That said, here are my comments:

1) I don’t think my “urge” to have 3 was because I wanted to have a baby for longer and my kids were growing up… so this point does not really apply to me.

2) I agree with this point. The families with 3 kids I know well are more stressed than the ones with 2 (as are we). I don’t regret having my son, but there were times when I admitted that stopping at 2 would have been easier (maybe better). But those times pass… now that my son is older, I don’t have that feeling anymore. In my case, the age difference between the first 2 and the third played a role in it. We were stretched often because the needs of the 3 kids were so different that did not allow for much family/relax time. Having 2 separate activities/birthday parties/play dates and managing naps or tantrums at the same time was difficult. We are finally over some of that now that my son does not have tantrums and is easier to deal with… Covid helped us in a way because for a whole year both activities/birthday parties and play dates were not happening. 
Now we can start enjoying some more grown up time because all 3 kids can watch a movie alone, play, etc. So, I think/hope things are getting back to normal, but for over a year, things were a bit stressful with 3 and 2 would have been much easier/more enjoyable.

3) I think your idea of starting a new project is a great idea and much easier to do with 1-2 kids than with 3. Not only time wise, but mental space as well. I don’t have the bandwidth to even think about a new project right now

Good luck![/quote]

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