Reply to New observation: Men now want high earning women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Uh, yes. I think this observation has been being made for a while now.

Note that [b]men want high-earning women, but they still often want a woman who earns slightly less, and they want her to deal with all of the childcare, cooking, and housekeeping responsibilities too. [/b]So while more men are looking for women who don't want to be SAHMs, more women are looking for men who want a situation that is more fair. I think more women now want to be SAHMs than my generation did. [/quote]

Yes, men want both.  Having high earning wife is great when they don't have kids.  Once kids come, they want the wife to take care of everything.  That is why, if you have a high earning husband, they often will give in and support their wives to become a SAHM, because that takes homecare, eldercare, childcare, petcare from their plates.  And the rich husbands also support their SAHM wives in outsourcing the menial jobs.

They will pay whatever it takes so that they don't have to do anything other than their office work.  Sorry, but, no sorry. [/quote]

This. The problems come when they don't earn enough to outsource his share or have the mom stay home. I've seen this over and over. The happiest couples seem to be the high earner husband with the SAHM. Anything else sucks for either the wife or the kids. Or both. I wish I understood this 20 years ago.[/quote]

NP. This hasn’t been my experience at all. My kids are almost grown and I would say the happiest and longest-lasting couples/families were the ones where both parents worked steady but not overwhelming jobs. They tended to be the most equitable marriages, with what looks like true deep affection between them. They may not have had the wealth of other couples, and the baby years were hard and draining, but they are by far the happiest group once the kids reach age seven or so going forward. Nothing is more valuable than time together, and that group has the most of it together as a family.

The high earner husband/SAHM marriages are more polarized. Sometimes they are happy. But often, there is a grim and bitter power dynamic that grows as the couple ages. Plus, from what I’ve seen there are more affairs in that group (on both sides).[/quote]

Yep, this is what I’ve seen too. Two flexible well paying jobs, both parents prioritize family, etc. Partners that share everything. [/quote]
+1 works for us, at least.

Neither of us are interested in high powered jobs where it requires a lot of hours. We like a stress free life, as stress free as we can get it. We could earn more if we wanted to, but the stress free life, and being able to spend time with our family is priceless.

My kids (teens) told us how unusual our family was in that we have dinners together quite frequently, like at least 4x/week, and how glad they were that we have that.[/quote]

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