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[quote=Anonymous]It smacks to me as a veiled boast and socail posturing.

"Look how well off we are.  Our child is just so BLESSED with so much ABUNDANCE that she is happy to forgo receiving presents in exchange for donations for the needy.  Aren't we so rich...I mean FORTUNATE??  I mean, from whom much is given, much is expected, right?"

not to mention the more subtle:

"Look what good parents we are.  We are teaching our children about giving and selflessness.  We will not be those 'greedy' parents who allow their children to accept gifts on their birthdays to fill their already full and overflowing toyboxes.  By making this part of our child's birthday invitation, everyone will get to see and be a part of our wonderful generous actions.  Aren't we so generous and selfless people?"

Instead, you could tell you child that they could choose to keep the gifts they received and donate an old toy to charity, or donate the new toy to Toys For Tots.  But that doesn't make the socail statement you are looking for.

Frankly, the money you are spending on the party may likely be more than the value of all the gifts she would get combined.  Why not just tell you are going to skip the party this year and give the money you would've spent to the needy.  Make a special dinner at home.  Bake a cake with her, blow out the candles and mail a check.  Much more generous but with less social fanfare.  Unless you decide to send out an email announcing your decision to do this, of course.

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