Reply to Strategy for having multiple children as an older lower energy FTM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Two max.  There’s such a difference between women who have 2 and 3.  The third often ruins the mom’s career and body for good.  Although sounds like you don’t want or care about your career?   Even with a big law salary the third will make kids even more expensive.  But you come across as though you want to punish yourself.  [/quote]

Idk my sister is beautiful and uberly successful with three kids. It’s a lot of work but some people manage it. She’s not low energy though. She also isn’t high strung about her house being a mess, or when her kids were young, having their every hair in place or being on a schedule of specific naptimes and schedules. She keeps encouraging me to have a third! In my community it seems like everyone has three kids, and while many of the moms have flexible careers, a bunch of them are also in demanding careers. The common denominator is a lot of money. Vacations for five? No problem. Private school tuition, tutors, expensive camps, sports for each, orthodontics, therapists when needed etc. Having three kids without a lot of money seems stressful.

OPs husband is in biglaw. Assuming he is or will make partner, they can afford a hectic full life of three kids. But she can’t count on her husband being around a lot, and no matter how much she outsources, it will still be stressful. And she will likely wind up resenting her husband. I know this because I grew up the child of a big law partner in a big family with a mom who was responsible for 100% of the kid work while my father worked, which was nearly always. Money will make a lot of things about three kids easier, but it will still be a stressful experience. I don’t think you will never regret having the third kid, but your marriage and mental health may suffer if your spouse works a lot, especially if you are low energy. [/quote]

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