Reply to Strategy for having multiple children as an older lower energy FTM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah you really need to investigate why you “want” more children when you’re at 100% capacity now.

I say this as someone who thought they wanted 2,3,4 kids and ended up with one—by choice—after a lot of deep thinking, conversing with my spouse/ a therapist, journaling, etc.

The pressure to have more than one child in this culture is deeply ingrained in sneaky, sneaky ways. Nearly every commercial depicts families as having multiple children. You likely were raised with a sibling—and surrounded by other kids with siblings—as was the norm back in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. Your parents likely had siblings because their mothers didn’t have access to birth control. How many of the shows you watch feature families with more than one child? How many of the books you read? What is the dominant dramatic portrayal of families with only children in TV, books, and movies? There are a lot of reasons why you may think you “want”more kids even though it is not what is best for you. Really analyze the images you see every day, the memories you have, the stories you like… and think about how they might be influencing you.

Also, there are a lot of things we may “want” for a time but decide against because it is not healthy for ourselves or our relationships in life. You can’t buy everything you want at the store without running out of money. You can’t eat junk all the time without hurting your body. You can’t flirt with good looking people whenever you want without that affecting your marriage. We don’t pursue everything we want in a given moment because we have that rational part of our brain that says “no.” Your brain is in a hormonal bath right now and you have to account for the fact that you are, as a being, biologically driven to have more children. That does not mean you should do it. Stop and think really, really hard.

As others have mentioned, life with one is dreamy.

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+100 I'm the PP who's a mom of an only child by choice and this is spot-on. Know your limits![/quote]

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