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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one is ganging up on OP for prioritizing retirement or older relatives. It’s the refusal to stop this slow moving train wreck. Now the child has to transfer after thriving at the pricey school. My husband was in a similar situation - he really wanted to go to name brand OOS school. His parents wouldn’t allow it, and he admits he hated his parents all summer. He went to his state flagship and made lifelong friends and had an awesome 4 years. OP should’ve been the bad guy last year instead of letting this go down the way they did. Now child may be behind (will all the credits transfer? What about making friends? Did they lose out on merit that’s only available to freshman? Is their major capacity controlled?) and all of this - again - was totally avoidable if OP parented appropriately last year. [/quote]

Merit was never in the mix. Maybe the OOS is a better fit and we will figure out a way to make it work? Maybe the in-state options are cheaper but not the best option overall?

We can cover some of the tuition. The balance will likely be covered through a mix of the kid working and us figuring out the best way to borrow.

Ball is in kid’s court to decide given what we can cover vs what they can do—now and moving forward. I know that’s shocking to some, but we aren’t going to dictate what our adult child can do. It’s their life. We will support as much as we can, but they will need to own their decision and have skin in the game.

This is a kid who has always worked, bought their own car, and covers the random nice things they want. They just aren’t working freshman year (although they might need to work spring semester). I could probably step back completely and they would figure it out. I’m not going to do that, but I will follow their lead here (after establishing what I can do to help).

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