Reply to 6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your post is way too long to read.

[b]I am going to guess you micro engineered friendships when they were little. They are now not working out as they can do their own things and interests more in middle school, and your feelings are hurt and you are trying to keep them all together. 
[/b]
Tell your kid to find friends that want to be with her and make her happy. That is it. The End.

This should be the last day you are ever involved in your middle schoolers friendships. Cut the umbilical cord

[/quote]

This. Plus you knew this could happen or heard about it happening but believed it wouldn't happen to you.

Part of your upset is you are realizing that your social life is going to be effected and you enjoyed your social life and don't want it to change. You liked hanging out with those moms and you do feel mad because you thought because you were friends with them that meant that all your kids would remain friends.

Part of the upset is realizing that your child isn't going to be part of the in group and you will have to watch from the outside.

It is going to be ok. And if the school is really small, consider whether your desire to not move her is about her academics or is it about you don't want the other moms to talk about you or have it look like to other moms you guys couldn't deal.  Neither are true but if you were that enmeshed before it might be clouding your judgement.

Making friends outside school is a good idea but keep in mind your DD will spend most of her time at school so it's hard not to have any friends there. I think it depends on whether there are other kids she could be friends with or if the school is so small there really isn't.
[/quote]

It's not microengineering to be friends with people in a group with common interests. JFC what planet are you from? People do this all the time being kids in groups together (e.g., scouts), in the same school/class, same sports team, same neighborhood. And nor is it wrong to, based on those interactions, think these were your kids and your friends. Finally, OP is entirely valid in her feelings that her own friendships will likely be affected.

None of that is microengineering. That is how social groups interact all the time. It happens here. In the midwest where i grew up. It happens everywhere. So quit labeling it like it's some helicopter parenting situation. [/quote]

Totally agree.  It’s called, um, making friends.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics