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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks so much for the ideas. I guess I could manufacture a reason why wives couldn’t attend except I realllllllly like going out there.

I showed my husband the thread and he said I forgot to mention that Hank has said on many occasions that his wife’s solo trips to Italy were the reason they could stay married. Hank takes numerous boys trips throughout the year as well.

Husband also says Hank is drinking a lot more than he used to. Wonders if that might be the source of Flo’s rages- although she sure drinks a lot too. [/quote]

Why can't you just go to the lake house without Hank's family? Does he expect to be included every time? Your H needs to be honest with him and let him know that Flo is making you guys really uncomfortable and you all still want to see him, but not like it's always been.

Hank could be drinking more as a coping mechanism. Who knows which came first. The drinking or the marital issues. [/quote]

Hank has been invited every Labor Day since we basically bought the house. He brought Flo back when they were first married (when she used to be fun Flo).  All the kids have been there their whole lives.

The same goes for MLK weekend. We all go, have a snowball fight battle, and have the best time (minus Flo). In years past she was always wound a bit tight and would complain about the kids not wearing the right slippers (I’m telling you, the slippers are so important to her) or of the pizza if we ordered some food. We did take a break for 2020 and 2021 due to covid concerns and this year found her to be totally intolerable. The nagging and shouting and temper tantrums were always there but either hidden or not as explosive. Now she is openly fighting and screaming at Hank and the kids. And as I mentioned, even starting to complain about our behavior as well. I made a bagged salad and she wouldn’t touch it as “bagged salads contain diseases”. [b]She was mad that I fed her kids crappy frozen Walmart pizza while she was cooking some elaborate dinner that was running late. The kids were super hungry and I didn't want them to wait until 10pm to have dinner! [/b]

Also her kids love coming to the lake. They love it. They talk about mlk weekend constantly. I felt terrible in 2020 and 2021 bc they weren’t with us. I feel sick at taking it from the kids. [/quote]

Sorry, but that's just rude. You don't serve PIZZA from WALMART while an ITALIAN is making YOUR DINNER.  You ask if you can help out with the cooking to speed things along, you feed them a snack.  But to feed them pizza from Walmart instead of waiting for the elaborate meal is a total insult. Any Italian would be pissed. Italians are all about food. That's her thing. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen! [/quote]

this is not just an Italian thing. This is an any person who is going to great lengths to cook for you thing. I do think that it is incredibly strange that OP would actively serve an alternate dinner while primary dinner is being cooked. I would be pissed, and I'm not Italian. [/quote]

The only person that would say this either has never suffered through this with children or is this person.

My mom is a good cook and likes to cook nice meals. But she doesn't do that very often since it's usually her and my dad. So she underestimates how long it will take and dinner is routinely at 9pm or later. When you have little kids that are hungry and have been going all day at the pool, etc. it is miserable. I've fed my kids and put them to bed in order to enjoy dinner in peace. It's not an insult. It's a fact of life.[/quote]

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