Reply to Is middle school always miserable? (Mean girls)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's always been like this.  Phones don't make a difference.  Girls in middle school start to develop their personalities.  Some are strong (and stand up to bullying) but are usually quirky and considered not popular.  Other's go along and participate by association.

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+1[/quote]

I agree. It’s always been like this. But phones definitely make it worse.

The kids are constantly exposed to what everyone else is doing and saying - it’s non-stop, overwhelming social stimulus, unless they know how to filter it or step back when they need a break.

Some kids do this naturally. They just have a more limited appetite for social stimulus. They get their fill and then turn their attention to things that interest them more.

Other kids can’t self-regulate that way. Either because they just find the social stuff more compelling than anything else, or maybe because it lights up their brain in a way that compels them to keep coming back for another hit (either anxiety or high stimulation/dopamine-seeking needs etc.)

Add in the normal teen limitations/under-developed impulse-control and decision-making abilities, and the phones make everything MUCH worse!! 😢[/quote]

But how does that make middle school miserable?  I think you just went on an anti-phone tangent.

Look, I'm not a fan of constant phone usage either - but it doesn't mean that middle school is more (or less) miserable now than it was was when we were young.[/quote]

It absolutely does.  Before phones, if someone was going to mean to you, it was to your face (which takes more, um...motivation).  Talking behind backs was generally limited to school hours also.  “Exclusion” was also different since there wasn’t social media (and kids on phone always on it) and you had no way of knowing who was doing what with whom.  Not entirely, but kids were certainly less aware of plans that didn’t involve them.

Now that there is social media, group texts/chats, phones, recordings, there are so many more ways for kids to be mean to each other at all hours of the day/night.  It is so much easier to say something unkind in a text than it is to say that to a person.  Or to spread a rumor or gossip via group text or posting it to social media is a whole different animal than a girl saying something to another two by the lockers.  And the feelings of exclusions kids have now are very intense.  In many cases, no one is even intentionally being mean or excluding, but plans are found out bc of technology and kid not there then feels it was personal and they are being mean, etc.

Phones are a huge huge part of the problem. [/quote]

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