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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think people understand what it's like to be a trailing spouse. I can't make friends. I work. Full time. I am at my computer from 7:30 in the morning until 5:30 at night. Everyone said I'd meet people when the kids started school, but that's dumb and hasn't happened - I drop them off, pick them up, and in four years, have never exchanged more than brief pleasantries with another parent. I have tried volunteering, but when you're generally solely responsible for childcare, that doesn't work out.

He knows I'm lonely. It's been like this the entire time we've been married. Not his fault. Mine. I thought I could handle the isolation (I'm an introvert!) but no one is ever really ready for something like this.

I get why he doesn't want to "socialize" with me - I have no life. Nothing to talk about. Conversation with me sucks ,as much as I try to be interesting, what kind of woman who sits at home all day have anything interesting to talk to about?

And yes, I also resent having to cook dinner every night. [/quote]

I was in a similar situation.  
It IS hard to make friends or volunteer when you are solely responsible for childcare.  My husband works unpredictable hours as well (medicine), so it’s hard to even schedule babysitting.  He might be home and want to play with the kids, or the babysitter might feel awkward being alone with a man she doesn’t know.  People you just met aren’t usually thrilled to hang out with a bunch of kids in tow.  I used to have fantasies that my husband died, and I was free to move back near my friends and family.

I cut back to very part time work for a while with the intention of finding a community, and I found some of one.  What ultimately ended up happening was that the kids got old enough to stay on their own for a little while so I could leave the house, my husband got a little burned out on work and started working a little less while I started working a little more, and after a few years casual acquaintances turned into friends.

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