Reply to spouse eats lunch out every day; I get leftovers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think people understand what it's like to be a trailing spouse. I can't make friends. I work. Full time. I am at my computer from 7:30 in the morning until 5:30 at night. Everyone said I'd meet people when the kids started school, but that's dumb and hasn't happened - I drop them off, pick them up, and in four years, have never exchanged more than brief pleasantries with another parent. I have tried volunteering, but when you're generally solely responsible for childcare, that doesn't work out.

He knows I'm lonely. It's been like this the entire time we've been married. Not his fault. Mine. I thought I could handle the isolation (I'm an introvert!) but no one is ever really ready for something like this.

I get why he doesn't want to "socialize" with me - I have no life. Nothing to talk about. Conversation with me sucks ,as much as I try to be interesting, what kind of woman who sits at home all day have anything interesting to talk to about?

And yes, I also resent having to cook dinner every night. [/quote]

I’m the PP who said to stop cooking and also, don’t worry about not being interesting. Be *interested*. “Interesting or interested” is the rule.

A lot of people say Stay at home moms are no fun to socialize with because all they do is take care of kids. This was actually never true for me. DH always loved talking to me.  In part because I’m a good conversationalist and I know how to make what I want to say interesting, but I also read articles, books when I had the bandwidth, had interesting conversations with people online, etc.  (I no longer believe that online friends don’t count, I have met so many cool oriole online who have become close friends and I have spent time with them in person.)

DH and I like to talk about fitness, economics, goal-setting, people we admire, sometimes people we don’t admire, and of course our kids. Sometimes I make him listen to me about history and celebrity gossip. He makes me listen to topics too that aren’t always fascinating to me, and we both humor each other by watching videos we find funny. I’m sure you both have interests you can talk about!

You have to start believing in yourself and your value. Keep reminding yourself that you are every bit as awesome as those you’re comparing yourself too. [/quote]

I have hobbies and a read a lot, but he's not interested in hearing about things that interest me. Usually I just sit there and listen to his stories from the day and pretend to be interested.[/quote]

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