Reply to Does your mom find "surrogate" daughters she gushes about?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]  My whole life my mother has done this and she gushes about the person until mom is dumped by her new found daughter or mom does the dumping. What I came to realize is usually the person had many qualities and life choices she would rip to shreds if they were from me. I used to take it so personally and wonder what was wrong with me that she could not appreciate what I did for her or who I was. Now that she is older and far crueler to me, I am just glad to hear she still finds people willing to spend time with her since some of her friends are fading away/ disappearing and not due to death or illness. Now that I don't say anything, but "that's wonderful!" and I guess I don't get any anxiety or hurt in my voice, she ups the ante and does an actual comparison for me of why my peer is better better than I am. I don't react and just make an excuse to get off the phone or I don't return the text. Does anyone else's mother do this sort of thing? [/quote]

No, but my older daughter always seemed to find surrogate mother's. This started when she was extremely young, she took to everyone. I remember attending a field trip with her when she was in kindergarten and she wanted to hang with someone else and not me. Granted I worked a lot when she was young and she spent a lot of time with my parents before and after school and in the summer. So, it's probably my fault. It always felt like she was searching for another family. She grew up, moved a few hours away around age 22, and now lived close to her husbands family. They treat her like crap sometimes (purposely leaving her out of family gatherings) and she cries to me about it, however, she can't seem to see through it. Now, she is enticing my college age daughter away, to stay with her over the summer. So, the pattern continues...maybe I need to find seem surrogate daughters (just kidding).[/quote]

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