Reply to Do you feel comfortable approaching your parents for help with large expenses?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]
When the parents are wealthy, it is not viewed as enabling.  It is viewed as a gift; an early inheritance.  I completely understanding those whose parents are not wealthy turning their nose up at this, but it really a very different scenario when your parents have cash that will absolutely come your way when they die.  They want to share it while they are alive, so they get to experience the benefit their gifts provide. We are financially successful (million $ homes, millions in retirement) but in the instances where my parents gave us a loan or a large gift, it was so they could share in the outcome of what they were providing.

It's also viewed as wise stewardship of money. My parents, through their lifetime exclusions/gifts and trusts and large insurance policies on each heir and principal, ensure that as little estate taxes are paid as possible. I support that, and the wisdom behind not wanting the Government to double dip on their success. I should note that my family is a big believer in charity, they make living donor pledges in the millions and 25% of their estate will go to charity. Annual gifts to the adult children always come with the request (but not requirement) that 10% is donated to charity. I take this personally and pledge 25% of what I get annually in gifting, to charity. I make enough to support myself (375K solo parent) so the gifts just go right into my estate for my children as they grow, I live on what I earn. [/quote]

Exactly this. The grandparent help we received was given in life rather than waiting until death and inheritance. It's called "warm hand" giving and I definitely prefer this method and will practice this with my own children. They gave us gifts for our wedding, down payment on first house and a later gift for renovation of our 2nd house.

The wealthy parents spent the time and money to put together a comprehensive estate plan to minimize taxes and preserve wealth for future generations. Part of that plan is to pay gift-tax exempt expenses like tuition (not camps) and medical directly. They prioritized grandchildren's education and megafunded 529s in addition to K-12 tuition in order to reduce the taxable assets in their estate. They communicated the plan and ballpark figures so we could account for this in our own retirement planning.[/quote]

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