Reply to I have a real life “The Notebook” situation on my hands and I have no clue who to choose.

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Reply to "I have a real life “The Notebook” situation on my hands and I have no clue who to choose. "

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[quote=Anonymous]OP you describe both guys in terms of what you think you might gain from being with but I get no sense as to either  guy that you understand a successful marriage requires an integration, the whole being more than sum of the parts, how you think you would make each other better, common life goals and objectives, there's nothing that sounds anything remotely like a healthy adult relationship with either guy.  Your life is not the Notebook yet you still chose to use that metaphor.  You were incompatible with the first guy which is why you broke up with him.  The second guy is obviously just a place holder.  You don't even really like the idea of being a stepmom.  You are.using the possibility of being with A not to be with A, but to provide a reason not to be with B, and vice versa.  For a different perspective, instead of asking yourself which guy will be the best for you, why not give a hard think to what you bring to the table and which guy would be better off marrying you, because of what you bring to the table.  Constantly fighting with the first guy doesn't make you a good partner to him, and being resentful the second guy has a stepdaughter doesn't make you a good match for him, either.  I'd say both would be better off without you.  Find someone else that you actually live enough to where you're not even considering other "options.". You're not really committed to either if these guys, that's for sure.  You probably think deep down neither is good enough for you [/quote]

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