Reply to I have a real life “The Notebook” situation on my hands and I have no clue who to choose.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I have a real life “The Notebook” situation on my hands and I have no clue who to choose. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Intelligence is inherited, OP. If your ex isn’t smart, that’s a dealbreaker right there. Don’t burden your future children with a low IQ. Plus, your ex probably wants you because he can’t have you. If you take him back, the chase is over for him. Are you sure he will not revert to his old ways?

Also, don’t marry the other guy, even if he is smart and kind. You are being honest with yourself about his DD. It’s good that you recognize you do not want to be a stepmother. It’s not fair to the child to marry her father [b]if you are not interested in building a positive, supportive, nurturing relationship with her.[/b]

Neither man is The One. Keep looking. [/quote]

Said like someone who is not a stepmother.

Step-parenting is 100x harder than parenting.  Easily.  I am a great, loving mother.  But being a hood stepmother requires so much more than “positive, supportive, and nurturing.”  You have to be prepared for your positive and supportive overtures to be met with hostility and hatred.  You have to be prepared for the likelihood that your stepchild’s attachment to you is inversely proportional to how much drama the ex may inject into your life (because she may be threatened by a positive relationship with you.). You may have to be silent…a LOT..,when your spouse is screening up.  You have to accept that your family finances and calendar are subject to the needs of your spouse’s ex.

The intention to love the child is like 5% of the work.  You can love the child SO much and have great instincts as a mom but be a terrible stepmom and destroy your marriage in your efforts to be a good stepmom.[/quote]

This x1000000

I can’t completely understand why OP isn’t happy at the thought of being a stepmom. A childless woman’s dream is NOT to be someone’s stepmom. Relationships are already hard. Then you add in someone’s else’s child when you don’t know what it’s like to have a child of your own? It’s incredibly hard. I will always discourage someone from being a stepparent if they’re young. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics