Reply to We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws

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[quote=Anonymous]Any chance DH is not FIL's biological child? It seems pretty extreme for a married man to leave his wife and son, cut them off financially when his ex didn't have money of her own, and then remarry and take care of his new kids only. It seems a part of this story is missing. Meanwhile DH is trying to create a relationship with the father he never had...

OP, I agree with the posters who say this is between your DH and his father. I also understand not wanting to allocate your own family's funds to visiting every year when there is no reciprocation and the relationship is fragile. Tell your DH you both need to find a compromise where the emphasis is on your family. If the vacation budget is X, then money for FIL/SMIL visits can be no more than 10% of X. If that means only DH can visit or only FIL can fly in for 3 days then so be it. Then spend some time every now and then doing the cheap/free stuff to stay in touch with FIL and SMIL. Do Facetime, have the grandkids send cards for holidays and birthdays, etc. At the same time consider encouraging your DH to seek therapy. It's not clear what he's looking for from the relationship but given FIL's track record who's to say more disappointments aren't on the way. 
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