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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Free daycare isn’t the answer, long term parent leave is.[/quote]

This. I’m so tired of people treating daycare, especially for infants, as some gold standard to which we should all aspire. Even the most loving daycare worker only has so many arms, and with multiple infants competing for her time, none of them is getting the absolute best in infant care. Western societies, especially, devalue stable family life and make production of goods and services the goal. So, instead of encouraging more family time, we’ve told ourselves it’s best to farm the children out to others so we can get back to “being productive.” As I get older, I realize I won’t be on my deathbed wishing I’d been “more productive” -society won’t be there to hold my hand, but hopefully, my family will.[/quote]

Yes! Thank you. Well put. I feel the exact same way. No one can hold my babies and raise my children as well as I can. My sister tried to tell me years ago that it’s not about quantity of time, but quality of time. What a bunch of crappy she was trying to feed herself to justify her own bad decisions. Her kid was always a mess. Yes, it’s about quality. But 15 minutes of quality time at the end of the day when you are putting your kid to bed after they’ve spent 10-12 hours in childcare (before care, after care, whatever) doesn’t equal being an engaged presence in the home and in their lives. [/quote]

I’m the PP you are quoting. While I do agree it’s quantity AND quality time that count, some of us do have to work. I am paying off student debt and a huge medical debt from a prior illness. Don’t paint too broad a stroke that working is just someone’s bad decision. From where I sit, though, I do understand that being in the work force comes at a definite cost. I have also met some SAHMs who are mailing it in, so SAH does not automatically connote some sort of virtue status in my book. There are lazy or disengaged people in both groups.  My gripe is not about picking apart individuals and their choices; rather, I’m commenting on the overall system we are all a part of. What are its goals? And how much does the system really contribute to or hinder  the flourishing of the individual and the communities in which we live?[/quote]

In my sister’s case, it was purely bad decisions. 😉 not even work related. [/quote]

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