Reply to Baby shower MONEY TREE invitation...really??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm realizing more and more how clueless people are about basic etiquette.  I used to think my mom was too hung up on the "rules", but now I appreciate knowing how to properly host things.  I was just talking to BIL's fiancee last night about her potluck wedding shower.  Her friend is "hosting", her mother is cooking most of the food, and she has asked MIL to bring food as well.  Part of her ignorance about etiquette is cultural, but the same can't be said for most people who just don't have a clue.

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Great SIL you are.  Stay home then.  They might not have money to do much more but still want to celebrate surrounded by people they love.  Who are you to rain in that?  And really, part of her ignorance is cultural?  So your culture is superior and know more than SIL's culture? You sound racist and way out of line.[/quote]

I'm not the PP but I think the bottom line to anything is motivation.  If someone is having a potluck wedding shower and their attitude is one of wanting to celebrate with all their friends and family I'm not going to turn my nose up.  If you are having a potluck shower and are asking me to bring cash or registered only for super expensive items and are asking me to bring  a potluck dish and I don't know you that well - that's when it feels like a shakedown.   A gift should be just that, something someone desires to give you and that you don't have any expectations of getting.  I had to look up the definition of gift in the dictionary just to make sure I wasn't crazy.  The definition says given voluntarily.

Even if it is a cultural or regional thing, I would think that people that grew up with that tradition would do it gladly because they saw it growing up.  There would be no need to be explicit.  For guests that didn't grow up with that, they should have other options. At our wedding, for various reasons our relatives liked to give money as gifts.  No way in heck would I ever think of pressuring anyone to give cash.  But when we go to relatives weddings we give cash as a gift because we feel like it is passing on and remember that for us that may have been the difference in some of the honeymoon plans.

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