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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister has been married for over 25 years.  She's successful, has many friends, and is very active and well known in her community.  Her husband had been married before, young, it ended ugly, and he has (now grown) children.  He told her when they were young enough that he'd have kids with her if that's what she wanted, but that if it were up to him alone he really didn't want more kids.  She elected not to have any.

The other day she told me she "immensely regrets" her decision.  I was surprised.

I'm just curious if anyone else reading this is in the same boat, and how you're dealing with it.  I feel badly for her.    [/quote]

I know someone in a similar situation but I'm not sure if she regrets it. Think of all that money and free time! lol [/quote]

Think of growing alone and nobody taking care of you… oh wait, that’s USA 101 [/quote]

Not this tired line again. [b]Go visit several nursing homes and see how many people living in them have living children, then report back.[/b][/quote]

Huh? Children who love them and helped them move into assisted living or nursing home so that they could be better cared for? Who oversee their care to make sure they get the right medication, proper food, care and attention? [/quote]

Do you really think they get care and attention and children supervise anything? The elderly get a shower once a week, they're drugged and sitting in bed most of the time and the children maybe visit weekly, if that. I'd rather die at home peacefully - parent with 2 kids [/quote]

[b]The PP "children oversee their care" is ridiculous. [/b]There's also a lot of elder abuse by children toward their own parents. No one here seems to think that their own child might abuse them but it happens.[/quote]

Go and read the post "How Old Were Your Parents When They Started to Need Your Help?" in the Midlife and ElderCare section on DCUM.  This is the norm!!
[/quote]

In fact there are many other long threads in this forum about all the care that very concerned and caring people are helping their elderly parents with - for many people it is A LOT OF WORK![/quote]

It is a lot of work. I say this as someone who supervised my mom’s home hospice with 24/7 CNAs—by “supervised” I mean my sister or I slept in mom’s spare bedroom almost every night for six months to make sure the CNAs showed up, give the meds, do things CNAs aren’t allowed to do like clip fingernails, and so on. This is while I continued to work FT job—the CNAs switched shifts at 8am so I’d know of there was a problem before I went out the door to work.

That said, I wouldn’t blame anybody for using a nursing home when a loved one is unable to take care of themselves. CNAs are very expensive (on top of mom’s mortgage and condo fees which still needed to be paid). And I was lucky that mom lived near enough, and not across the country, so I could manage her home care. [/quote]

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