Reply to I think grandparents are out of touch now because a lot of us waited so long to have kids

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Reply to "I think grandparents are out of touch now because a lot of us waited so long to have kids"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Still doesn't give you license to insult a whole generation.[/quote]

And yet Boomers routinely use anecdotes to generalize about and insult other generations?  See, e.g., any discussion about Millennials in the workplace.

I realize that multiple anecdotes =/= data, but I have a number of friends whose Boomer parents are detached grandparents who are more concerned with their own lives and social activities than their grandchildren.  Maybe this is just my/our misfortune, and maybe the difference is divorced vs. non-divorced Boomers, but possibly you should consider that your experience as devoted Boomer grandparents is the outlier, not mine.   
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I’m sorry but I have to agree. The boomers were a real something of a generation. I don’t think it’s the “waited to have kids” thing; I had my first at 30 so not super young but I didn’t have my first ten years later, either. It’s not the polite thing to say, but I think the massive damage that the Greatest Generation had (born into or just after the Flu Pandemic, the Depression and then the world war) really did a number on the boomers. In general, obviously, as not all of them emerged with damage, but I just think it’s a generational thing. [/quote]

+100

My grandparents (“Greatest Generation”) were violent alcoholics. My parents grew up with abuse snd neglect, but no one called that back then. I’ve known since I was young that my parents are emotionally stunted. I feel bad for them, but I also feel sad for myself because it obviously seriously impacted my own childhood and my relationship with them. They often look to me to fulfill emotional needs they never had filled as children. It’s not healthy and I’ve had to establish firm boundaries with them.

This absolutely plays into their expectations as grandparents. They want their grandkids to fill that hole in their lives left by their awful parents (who no doubt had their own trauma that never got addressed). The idea that it is the role of adults to love and support children and help to fulfill their needs is confusing for my parents. [b]In terms of emotional development, they are themselves still children[/b]. And there’s nothing I can do about it— I can’t parent them and I’m not their therapist.[/quote]
PP you’re replying to and this is 100% the primary issue with one of my parents. Trauma that was inflicted on them by the members of the greatest generation and the way the trauma was dealt with stunted this parent, and I have seen this with many of my friends’ parents, too. [/quote]

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