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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I didn't read all the replies so apologies if this has all been said.

This sentence really stood out to me:
"My DD was able to tell me who every single item belonged to and even told me some of the kids cried when they couldn’t find their stuff." That sentence combined with how she "thought long and hard" and repeated the behavior even after seeing kids cry is troubling.

I would talk to your pediatrician to see if these behaviors might indicate something that needs to be addressed by a professional.

I've been a school based SLP for many years, so I've seen a lot. 
Kids take stuff from each other all the time, usually a fancy pen or candy or a toy that someone brings in. Ocassionally, there are repeat offenders and the teacher can usually figure it out once a pattern emerges. Often, it is because a kid is jealous because they don't have the same stuff at home and they just want the item. When kids realize that they made another kid sad, they usually feel terrible, and their empathy really comes out. Also, kids often know who the culprit is and the social stigma of being the "stealer" is a huge deterrant. Stealing is really not a good way to make and keep friends and kids know this.

Something about OP's description just seems more serious to me. The kid seems bright, bright enough to come up with her recurring plan but not worried about making kids feel sad or losing friends. This seems like a more involved issue.

Good luck OP, I hope she can figure out why she went so far with this and also find a way to make amends to her classmates. [/quote]

Same sentences stood out to me. She might be extra bright in already realizing you would not get those items for her, and she sounds very driven to get what she wants, which might provide some explanation for her actions. She was smart enough to plan it out. But her repeat stealing with no empathy towards other classmates crying about their lost items is pretty concerning.

As an aside, parenting is hard. My DD8 cries when she is caught breaking rules (such as playing video games). She'd cry when I gave out punishment of no electronics for X days. I eventually figured out she cries out of frustration that she got caught and received punishment, not that she regretted breaking rules. She hasn't stolen but she is very driven to get what she wants and often pushes boundaries with me. Of my two kids, she's such a tough one to parent. [/quote]

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