Reply to Is it rude to host party and not provide alcohol?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you for your comments!

OP here. Yes, the reason for quitting is alcoholism. The people coming over are my in-laws, so not like friends who I can distance myself from. DH is supportive of me and doesn’t drink when I’m around. His family are heavy drinkers. If someone had one or two drinks, I can handle that, but not when they drink a 6 pack of beer by themselves or bring a bottle of whiskey in their bag to mix with Coke. I’m not comfortable telling them that I’m recovering. They’re kind of judgmental.[/quote]

OP - this is important information you left out.  I think it limits your choices further.  Speaking as the ex of an alcoholic who has really struggled with recovery (more relapses than I care to count) because he doesn’t protect his own needs (for similar reasons as you - doesn’t want to put anyone else out or deal with judgment): I recommend you tell them if you host there will not be alcohol, and If that is unacceptable you will not be offended if someone else hosts instead (you can offer to bring the main course or something). That way you have an escape route if being around it is harder than you think.

Not to go all 12-step in you, but #1 is recognizing you are powerless.  Why put yourself in a risky situation you can’t get out of?  Honestly - if they are judgmental, f**k them.  You are doing something really important for yourself and those that love you.  If your in laws aren’t supportive of that, you need to hold them at arms length right now.  [/quote]

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