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Reply to "If you're a family who expects your kids to eat what's put in front of them, do you make exceptions?"

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[quote=Anonymous]This situation finally makes sense to me with your 11:49 update, OP. The following part really stood out:

“I think one dynamic is that she is pretty competitive and it bothers her that my kids eat "better"* than hers. Like, it's embarrassing to her when her kids are fussing about how they don't want something, and my kids are happily eating the same thing. So, she'd like to avoid that situation. My solution to that problem would be to tell the kids that they can say no thank you, but they need to do it politely without fussing. Her solution would be to not serve foods that her kids won't eat, so my kids won't be able to "show off".”

I’m assuming this is your sister you are talking about, and she’s seeking to avoid judgment from your parents and the extended family. The reality is that most families do judge picky eaters and many blame the parents to some extent. So her concern is reasonable, but her approach for avoiding this judgment is absolutely controlling, bizarre, and inappropriate. She needs to learn how to find a way to be happy in life without “winning” the parenting wars. There is not one single accommodation you need to make in this situation. If she has any sense at all, she’ll just load up her kids’ plates with whatever of the offerings they like and hope no one notices. If great Aunt Sally comments that she noticed your sister’s kids have not eaten the larks tongues in aspic (or whatever) and you are feeling charitable, you can help steer the conversation toward a less loaded subject. [/quote]

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