Reply to Why do you blame your DIL/SIL instead of your son/brother?

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Reply to "Why do you blame your DIL/SIL instead of your son/brother?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]There genuinely isn't a reason. That's why it's so odd. My pet theory is that it's because she's used to not having family around and feels some jealousy on behalf of her own far away parent. But who knows.[/quote]

Brining us back to the original point of the thread… women just don’t want to like their SILs /DILs and just make up sh*t in their head so they can dislike them, rather than placing the blame on their own brothers/sons.[/quote]

There “genuinely isn’t a reason” ***that you know of,*** from your perspective as not-your-brother. Wow, imagine that: he might well have reasons he doesn’t care to connect that much with his parents that you aren’t privy to, what with you are not your brother and all.[/quote]

But he does connect with them, on his own, as I said, with the kids when his wife is out of town, and every few months with the whole family. They're not estranged, they just rarely make time with the result being that their kids barely know their local grandparents. You seem to want to keep inventing facts not in evidence to support your preferred narrative. I have placed plenty of blame on my brother throughout this thread. What I object to is the idea that the woman in this situation bears no responsibility for her own part in the family dynamic. I don't have time to keep arguing back and forth on this and repeating myself so this will be my last response, but you should examine why you think a wife has no responsibility for her own affirmative choices in the context of her relationship with her ILs. I find that position strange and patronizing.[/quote]

I really dislike one of my DH’s sisters (and the feeling is mutual). He has had issues with her in the past, but they have been on good terms for the last few years and enjoy each other’s company in small doses at least. He talks to her on the phone and sees her regularly whenever he likes (SIL is single, never married). He takes the kids to see her sometimes- or they plan things together occasionally with the kids-  as well. This is all on his own with no involvement from me. I only see SIL at whole extended family occasions usually. If DH wanted me to see her more regularly than that I’d say nooo thanks. 😂  Why wouldn’t  your brother do the same with your parents? Even if SIL doesn’t like your parents for some reason? Why doesn’t he see them regularly (and not just when she is out of town)? Why doesn’t he stop by their house with the kids on occasion? They are 10 miles away. Surely he takes the kids to the park or on outings on his own at times (even when his wife is in town). It would not be difficult for your brother to do this. You honestly think his wife is “forbidding” this in some way? Seems highly doubtful. That is what people are trying to tell you. [/quote]

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