Reply to Why do you blame your DIL/SIL instead of your son/brother?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Why do you blame your DIL/SIL instead of your son/brother?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote][b]So he is responsible for her behavior as well as his own?[/b] And, for the seemingly 100th time, this isn't about me. We effectively don't have a relationship. We live far apart and I don't waste my time on people who don't reciprocate. We exchange kid birthday gifts and that's it. At some point my parents will probably move closer to us and my brother and SIL will have no family. That won't be beneficial to their kids but it's hard to see this playing out any other way.[/quote]

This is hilarious OP, considering you’re basically saying she is responsible for *his* behaviour by being obstructionist. It doesn’t sound like he communicates with all of you at all. Is that her too? [/quote]

Why do you insist she has no agency? The issue isn't that she isn't communicating and making plans bon her husband's behalf, it's that she inserts herself into conversations between him and his parents. He is responsible for not simply ignoring her wishes and making it happen, but why is he responsible for her choices too? I'm genuinely curious about this mindset. Maybe it's because I have no problem being the bad guy when I need to be in my life but I don't get this. The vast majority of the time I say yes to seeing my ILs when they ask, but when it doesn't work for me (e.g. recently when I had too much going on at work and didn't want to host) I say no and I own that. It would be ridiculous for them to hold my DH responsible for not forcing the issue over my objections. I have my own relationship with them because we've been in each other's lives for 20 years. My DH deals with the logistics, but it's bizarre to act like I am not part of the family dynamic.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics