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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where are you posting from? How can he not find a job at this time? Employers are offering sign-on bonuses, closing bc they don't have staff, you name it. 
What industry?

Yes, you both can wallow in your pity party. You deserve to, BUT the important thing is you make a change. Pity parties are only a pit stop. You need to get get moving. Complaing about it doesn't do any good[/quote]

+1. Yep, vent away, OP, but you created this situation too when you bought a house that didn't give you any financial wiggle room. If you want a different reality, you've got to figure it out together.[/quote]
I have put off buying a house every year for the last three years. If I had just done it three years ago I would be absolutely comfortable now based on my current salary (because guess who pays the mortgage). At some point you have to pull the trigger, because living in an 800 sq ft condo doesn’t work forever and housing seems to only get more expensive. I’m sure this is where somebody will jump in telling everyone how they live in a 300 sq ft room with no windows, five kids, and two cats. [/quote]

The point is not to resent him when you signed off on the decision too. I'm not gounh to suggest you live in a 300 sq ft room (though I get your point about how DCUM operates). What I mean to say is that you have to start recognizing your role. It will help you move on together toward better change. I don't know what that will be for you, but blaming him alone is toxic and will lead to divorce.

Re the job applications, you actually could do that for him, but you shouldn't, not just for ethical reasons, but also that it's not fair to you.

[/quote]
Please. Tell me how I’m the problem. This guy would be living in our first apartment 12 years later [b]if I didn’t decide for both of us that we need to move forward with our lives[/b]. The only reason he took the job he has now is because I told him I wouldn’t marry him if he didn’t have a real job.

My biggest mistake was having kids with him. That’s where I failed. And don’t worry about getting divorced, because I can’t afford child support payments to him, and I would probably still end with the same responsibilities I have now and less money to handle it all. [/quote]

Listen to yourself. [/quote]
Listen to myself that I didn’t want to live in a 500 sq ft apartment in a stabby area for the rest of my life?[/quote]

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