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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Double up on your birth control. This would be unacceptable to me. [/quote]
This. [/quote]

Creepy how many people quoted and agreed with this. I'm guessing you're all childless women? Because I'm in my 40s and quite a few girlfriends who admit they themselves and/or their husbands had drinking issues before the first baby. All of them calmed down after the first baby was born – a couple of the husbands became teetotalers. Kids make you grow up, kids make you want to be a better person. Again, hard to believe anyone with children would tell you to "double" birth control or avoid having a baby at 30. Yeah, wait another few years for all of your healthy eggs to be gone.  :roll: [/quote]

And all the posters who grew up in alcoholic homes suggests that not everyone moderates use after kids.

The drinking and overspending suggest some significant underlying issues, perhaps bipolar. Any kids will have a greater risk of alcoholism or addiction, what a gift, OP. And someday you may have cancer or a job loss and have a partner who dives back into or more heavily into drinking to cope. You have a lot of hubris too, thinking you will always have enough margin to offset his unreliability. I was once you. You still have time to have a different life but the clock is ticking.

OP, did you grow up in a family with mental illness, anxiety, depression, heavy drinking, gambling, food addiction, etc? Did you come from a divorced or single mom home? Something in your own background is causing you to get the red flags on delay and then doubling down on your choice, likely recreating some past dynamic. You married an alcoholic with spending issues. What other issues are going to come along or are already there, just being hidden? 
Porn? Cheating? Gambling?

The kind of drinking he engages in damages health and makes job loss and duis more likely. His drinking may become an issue at work related events.

OP, try Al Anon. And get a therapist with experience in addiction to figure out how you ended up here and why you are clinging to an out of control situation. There is a pattern repeating from your past. 
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