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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the feedback; honestly the divorce recommendations were a bit frightening though. I don’t think that is the best solution at this point. This morning my husband agreed that the bottle of wine before dinner was too much. We talked about just splitting a bottle during the weekdays if we both decide to drink during dinner and no drinking alone. I’m still a little concerned about sticking with this rhythm going forward but my husband also had some overspending habits that he got totally under control within the last year. I feel like if he puts his mind to something he can achieve it. At this point, I’m more concerned about the conflict resolution piece and feeling like we can talk productively without these type of arguments. That’s not as simple to implement as agreeing to a certain number of drinks. [/quote]

You are going to end up being his gatekeeper, which will be a miserable dynamic for you both. He’s not able to “just decide to drink during dinner” and split a bottle in the same way that you are (in the sense that you can take it or leave it and every ounce of his being is thinking about the next drink). You’re in denial as well.[/quote

Him getting you to up your daily drinking is no solution OP. In fact, it is how my alcoholic father turned my mom into an alcoholic as well. He would even urge drinks on my college aged friends if they were in the house.

You drinking does not address that HE CANNOT STOP DRINKING. In fact, you may develop a drinking problem yourself.

Go to Al Anon, OP. For both of you.

His spending issues are not a surprise. Over time there may be employment issues and cheating. And the drivers do not make these one and done problems, they will reappear because he is not addressing the drivers. Under stress in particular.

OP, you are going to let this guy ruin your life and the lives of any kids you have if you don't get some insight.

He could have underlying trauma, be self medicating bipolar or anxiety, come from a family of addicts. How does YOU becoming a DAILY DRINKER HELP ANY OF THAT?

Your posts are like watching a car wreck in slow motion, OP. Do NOT bring children into this home. [/quote]

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