Reply to How to survive separating in place with a cheater

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP. I’m the person who is dealing with something incredibly similar (I’m a woman married to another woman, AP is a woman too). You might have seen some of my threads.

This exact thing is going on with me. The difference is the AP is local and I know she and DW are having regular sex. DW refuses to move out even though we are both miserable. She is 100% emotionally abusing me. Texting AP almost every minute — literally. Sending AP pics of our kids. Packing her lunches and bringing her coffee daily. My DW is truly an awful, heartless person, and frankly I’m not sure how she lives with her disgraceful self, and yet I’m having so much trouble letting go of our family unit.

I guess I just wanted to commiserate and tell you you aren’t alone. Hugs. We both deserve so much better, and so do our kids.[/quote]

OP here. Oh boy, what a difficult situation!! I'm so sorry. I get what you mean about keeping the family unit together. This is quite a crisis and I don't wish this on anyone. Do you have a support system? Are you guys in the process of getting a divorce?[/quote]

I’m not the PP but why does OP have to shoulder the burden of “keeping the family unit together” when this guy is not participating in the family unit as it is?  Like Elvis, he’s already left the building. Except - he’s still there physically, as a reminder to OP everyday of how emotionally angsty and needy and deep and special he is.  So not only does OP have to cater to his sorry *ss, she has to feel empathy and sorrow for him to boot.  He’s a total drag on her and the family unit.  OP - do you make your own money?  What do you need this guy for, if anything?  Just because he is the biological father of your child is not enough in and of itself to keep him around in light of all the chaos he is causing.  It seems based on your descriptions having the husband in the house is doing more harm than good.  [/quote]

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