Reply to SIL is upset I did not punish my step daughter for being disrespectful

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You, your  Stepdaughter, and your husband are in the wrong. Full stop. It has zero to do with standing up for herself.

There are 1001 and one ways to your rate and not be nasty.

I say this as someone who worked her way through school as a nanny and babysitting[/quote]

SIL set the nasty tone by offering less than half of what the SD quoted her.  How insulting and rude is that?  And SIL is the grown-up!!!![/quote]

Sil offered a price. ALl SD had to do was decline,   Laughing and being nasty were not required.   Even if  SIL was intentionally being insulting which I don't believe she was, you do as Michelle Obama tells us to go high, there's never a reason to lower yourself.[/quote]

No, SD offered a price first, all SIL had to do was decline.  Instead, she came back with an insultingly low offer.  I mean seriously, $10/hr is too low for *one* kid on a Friday night, never mind four!

That said,

"My daughter laughed in her face and said she was not running a charity and wished her luck finding a babysitter for her cheap price. My daughter then proceeded to walk away laughing."

That's pretty rude.  The charity crack, the laughing and walking away.  We don't have the context of how SIL made the comment, so we don't know is she started off the rude behavior.  But regardless, the SD should have said something like, "I'm sorry, that's really not what the going rate is for four kids on a Friday night.  I'm not going to be able to sit for you."  Whether it's family, an acquaintance, or a stranger, there's a good way to turn someone down without being a jerk about it.  [/quote]

I should add that I absolutely would not discipline SD about this.  I'd tell her that she was absolutely right in declining, but could have been a little more diplomatic in turning her aunt down.  And I would not make her apologize - she's old enough to decide whether she should do that on her own.  [/quote]

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