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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- I'm actually a fellow, so still not on an attending  physician salary. I moonlight frequently to pay things like our old condo mortgage (one reason why we need to rent it out!) We do have a cleaner, but they come only once per month and we plan to hire a nanny once baby 3 comes. I can appreciate all that he’s sacrificed to get us here. I sometimes forget, bc he says he loves his job and is generally happy with it. I will say though, he typically travels once per week for work (this has come to a halt during COVID), so we frequently had help in the past, but we lost a lot of it with COVID (sitters moved back to their families, etc). I realize that a lot of these things are temporary and my salary will jump in a few years. But right now we are strapped financially. [/quote]

That’s tough. I think you need to have a sit down conversation. He may be resentful of how much he’s had to do during the pandemic (and has had to do for all your years of training) and not expressing it in a healthy way. Being a spouse of a physician is no joke. Make sure to validate his potential frustrations and come to a mutual agreement. It’s hard but you’ll get through.

-mom also in medical training [/quote]

DP it just feels nice to hear someone say that there are challenges related to being a spouse of a physician.  I feel fortunate that my spouse now has a stable well paying job, but the long hours, lack of flexibility, the zero sick/personal days, the loss of some weekends, the difficulty in taking vacations, and just the stress of handling everything childcare/school/house/planning/organization related.  Not to mention the lack of income for the first 6 years together while finishing med school and residency and being the sole provider during that time, and then being stuck with over $400k in school debt.[/quote]

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