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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Meh.  
I do agree that some parents are out of control as are some kids.  However, many clubs have given up on development and parents are tired of shelling out thousands of dollars to have coaches who yell and scream at kids if they screw up but won't spend the time to help them grow.  Youth soccer is toxic and coaches are part of the problem too.[/quote]

100%  I believe that is the point of most of the posts on this forum.  And the fact that some coach gets on here to defend his horrible behavior is just perfect. 
[/quote]

+2   To the OP, I would tell you what I tell my clients - communication goes a long way. Clubs or coaches need to communicate expectations to parents. Coaches, in particular, need to communicate with players. All players should be treated fairly. The 5'10 inch striker on your u13 team is fast and can win the ball in most situations. However, if he skill and tactical issues to work on, make sure you tell him that. That undersized benchwarmer can't make himself bigger, but make sure you help him understand  how to use his body and technical skills effectively.

Every player on the team should be equally important in terms of your communication, effort, and interest. Ignoring players who have displeased you for reasons unknown to them is part of what sets parents off. Hold your best players to the same standards as you do your bench players and acknowledge hard work and effort when you see it. It's way easier for that fast kid to win the ball than the slow kid, so when the slow kid succeeds through intelligent movement off the ball, that should be celebrated more than a footrace.

Having been through youth soccer with several kids, with different years when my kids were at the top of a team or at the bottom, the best coaches treat every player on the roster with respect. And truth be told, when your kid is at the top, as a parent, that can be tough to take. You'll get the sideline grumbling when the bench players start warming up during a tight game. Ultimately, teaching children fairness and respect is more important than any win.  I'm all for playing your best in tournaments, but in regular league games, you need to find a spot for every player to play in the younger age groups.

Oh, and by the way, if you made a mistake and picked a kid who is not up to snuff, have the difficult conversation.  That's your job. Don't ignore the kid or force her family to travel to some crappy town in New Jersey paying for a hotel room for the honor of sitting on the sidelines while their daughter does not see a single minute of playing time over the course of a weekend. I've watched that happen (not to my own kid), and it lead me to decide that none of this is worth it. I felt dirty playing along.

If you really want to earn respect, if you aren't as committed to the development of your weaker players, talk to them or their parents about other options for playing opportunities. Don't wait until someone better shows up at practice to tell the kid what he needs to work on.  That's a coward's way out, but it happens all the time.

Yes, some parents are nuts. I've found myself venturing down that road at various times. Still, don't forget that they are your customers. You feed the crazy if you don't communicate and create a positive dynamic for the team and parents. That too is a club and coach responsibility. [/quote]

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