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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"+1 right here. I love my DH as a person, and want him to be happy. But I don't want to be married to him anymore. We will continue our life together until our youngest is out of the house and then separate our lives. He is by no means more damaged goods than your average person, has a great job, and is a terrific dad. He makes terrible dad jokes and insists on listening to strange avant-garde music but he's fine really."

The problem is that for many people, the ability to leave a marriage because it's not great is a marker of damage. I married expecting that we'd get bored with one another, and I committed to addressing that head on and not walking away. I wouldn't find a person who thinks it's fine to walk away appealing as a life partner, because he'd do the same thing with me that he did with you. He lacked perspective on what a life partner is, and he lacked either the energy or skill to fulfill his marriage commitment. That's not attractive.[/quote]

This.  100 times this.   I’m not against divorce.  I think people should leave unhealthy situations.  But this seems more like people ending a marriage because of boredom instead of trying to reignite a spark.  I don’t think people have to get married.  You can have a long-term monogamous relationship and then split when it gets dull.  But I feel like marriage vows mean you don’t split when it gets dull.

[/quote]

You’re both stunningly judgmental. Since you’re each staying in your marriages, because you’re both such good girls and work so hard on marriage it’s amazing you have the time to stay on here and opine (...and opine. And opine, no doubt), YOU are perfectly safe from dangerous broads like the PPs who are perhaps divorcing. You’re adding to stigma because...why? You’re bored? Because that’s how it’s coming across, no matter the pieties you use to dress it up. So lame.[/quote]

Wow.  Defensive much?  I’m not judging the women or the men.  To each his own.  The PPs claimed their soon-to-be ex husbands are great dating options foe other women.  I’m simply saying that if a woman is looking to marry, looking for a life partner, those men aren’t necessarily great options because they left marriages that didn’t have problems, just lacked spark.  I don’t think I’m better or worse than them, but no I wouldn’t invest time in a man, even one who is a nice guy, I felt wouldn’t be committed even when it got boring.  (I’m married, so it’s a moot point.)  if a woman or a man is looking to marry again and is in the 40-something range, the reality is health issues, physical decline, etc., are all around the corner.

That said, my limited observations of marriages like the PP is that those relationships never had spark or strong sexual attraction to begin with.  They married more because of other factors (the friendship, shared desire to be married and move into that phase of life, familiarity).  [/quote]

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