Reply to Sad about minuscule pool of eligible men after divorce at 44

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Sad about minuscule pool of eligible men after divorce at 44"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"+1 right here. I love my DH as a person, and want him to be happy. But I don't want to be married to him anymore. We will continue our life together until our youngest is out of the house and then separate our lives. He is by no means more damaged goods than your average person, has a great job, and is a terrific dad. He makes terrible dad jokes and insists on listening to strange avant-garde music but he's fine really."

The problem is that for many people, the ability to leave a marriage because it's not great is a marker of damage. I married expecting that we'd get bored with one another, and I committed to addressing that head on and not walking away. I wouldn't find a person who thinks it's fine to walk away appealing as a life partner, because he'd do the same thing with me that he did with you. He lacked perspective on what a life partner is, and he lacked either the energy or skill to fulfill his marriage commitment. That's not attractive.[/quote]

Well said PP. I have been married 20+ years, kids are grown, our finances are in order, and the marriage is ... "comfortable". You might even say we are both bored in a long term boring marriage. What this means, in all reality, is that we are very "close" as partners but there is little to no "passion" left in the relationship. Sometimes at dinner we just do not have much to talk about. For me, if I am completely honest that means I just am not all that excited to "hear about her day". And for her, I have zero delusions that she ever really gets horny for me.

But let me tell you all a secret: [b]we both just fake it[/b]. Perhaps a less cynical way of saying is we both do the work for our relationship to succeed. And you know what? It totally works! I listen to her dramatic work stories, she pretends to still want regular sex with me.  We both are pretty happy with this. Its all about having a good attitude and staying committed.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics