Reply to Wife wants to move closer to family

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Reply to "Wife wants to move closer to family - but am I committed enough?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was kind of with you, OP, until you made the comment about feeling like she was rejecting you. The conversation you need to have with your spouse goes beyond the city you live in. If you do wind up separating over this, I hope it’s truly about where you live and not deeper issues in yourself and your marriage that you haven’t gotten the opportunity to address.

Also if you divorce and you aren’t the primary parent (ie you haven’t been the one taking the kids to school or daycare or play dates or extracurriculars or spending the most time with them after work), the kids might spend more time with their mom than with you.[/quote]

The comment OP made about feeling rejected really resonated with me. My DH wants to move back to his cute but small hometown, the city is our middle ground (I am also from somewhere else), whenever he starts his rant against the DMV and where we live I have now reached the point where I just hear « the home we built together sucks, I just want to go back to my mom ». [b]It is depressing and I feel like letting him g[/b]o. If he prefers to go back to his childhood rather than build a future with me, it breaks my heart but maybe it means our couple is not worth it[/quote]

So, I am the one who wants to return to where I have friends, family, and better job prospects.  Why don't you just let him go?  Why are you forcing him to stay with you, even though you know it's making him unhappy?

DH has told me in no uncertain terms that if I move, he will divorce me immediately and fight a hard custody battle for the kids.  What for?  What are you getting from controlling your spouse in this way?

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