Reply to My kid told me I’m a “sh***y mom”

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, does your daughter have any space to express her concerns, like in counselling or a support group for siblings of cancer survivors? An activity (even if it’s virtual right now) “all her own?”

She needs and deserves a place where she can be a little girl, and be be free of the burden of her sibling’s illnesses. If you don’t have the time to get her away, then see if you can access programs though Big Sisters or a similar organization.

There is nothing wrong with expecting your 9 yo to do chores. There *is* a problem with you are relying on her to help run the house.

Also, and I say this kindly - is there some truth to you not having expectations from your two younger children? Yes, you may not be able to expect “the same”, but you should expect the equivalent to their abilities. Both your younger children will not break if you give them chores, and “need” responsibility the same way your older child does.

As suggested above, PEP classes may also be helpful.

That said, you also need time away, and counselling to help you both collect your thoughts and explore your frustrations. Your DH has unfairly put the burden of pretty much everything on you, and it’s not your fault, nor is it your daughter’s fault that you are overwhelmed right now. You’re not a sh*tty mother, but there is nothing wrong with exploring how to become a better one.

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