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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^look if I thought there was a possibility of cheating, I’m thinking of MY HEALTH.  I’m not planning how to seduce my spouse.  I’m thinking I don’t want to catch some dreadful STI.  I always would investigate any possibility of cheating if there were signs for thus very big reason.

I’m shocked at those that suggest burying head in sand anytime somebody has concerns a spouse may be cheating.[/quote]

It’s like you’re trying to hard sell that for yourself. Women trim for comfort more often than for others. People have been egging the cheating angle on to wind you up. If you think this little of your wife there are much larger problems than sex. [/quote]

Just honesty.  Grooming was a major sign that I only noticed after the affair was discovered.  Looking back, it was obvious as h@ll.  The hair he said bothered him when wearing workout shirts was really the hair he wanted removed for his new AP.

I thought cyber would be very blatant signs of the man I had been with 20 years was cheating.  There were basically none.  Why question “I’m heading to the gym” or “I have to run into the Office for a few hours” when nothing seems out of the ordinary otherwise.

After talking to others, I find so many were completely blindsided.

My therapist said “the number one risk factor for your partner to cheat or have an affair is thinking that they would never do that.”  Never in a million years did i think mine would have.  It didn’t seem in his character.[/quote]

This. The marriage sounds completely dysfunctional at this point...and many have cheated without even this high level of dysfunction.

You don't communicate with each other.  You both agree the sex and spark is gone.  You have repeatedly brought up opening the relationship.  She hasn't had sex with you in months...and then you starts grooming her beaver for the first time while giving you a 'sympathy f*ck' in the dark only.  This really raises a ton of issues which is why I don't think the people suggesting either cheating or going to get an STI test at the gyn to show the married men she is chatting with on Ashley Madison (or already has contracted one--hence laying off sex with you for awhile) is not far-fetched at all.  People sometimes cheat in good marriages while still having an active sex life with their spouse.  OP, your marriage is ripe for an affair.  Get into counseling.[/quote]

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