Reply to I?m upset that my kids don?t seem to care about getting married or having children

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Reply to "I?m upset that my kids don?t seem to care about getting married or having children"

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[quote=Anonymous]This isn't something you can control, so you need to find a way to process and let go. Maybe they'll have kids, maybe one will, maybe neither will. It's not about you and what you did right.

I have an uncle/aunt with three grown kids (40s, 50s) and none do or will have children and none are currently married. They are all kind of weirdly stunted and not very accomplished, but smart and educated, so who knows what went wrong there. It's likely a "something happened in the house" situation.

My SIL and her brother never wanted kids. Not ever. Parents are lovely, normal seeming, and the mom is devastated. Lots of resentment from adult daughter that her mother never accepted her agency and always framed it as "when Larla has kids" or "someday they'll change their mind" peppered with stores about how they decided to have a second kid...totally different. It's been a sad thing to watch. Can't say I wouldn't feel devastated too but it's not a good dynamic.

I'd advise you to see a therapist and figure out how to let your kids know that you respect and value their life choices. If they can feel comfortable telling you what's up and know you'd have their back more than you'd hold out hope that they'll change their minds, your relationships with your children will be better for it. Nothing you can do about it, but you can do that. [/quote]

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