Reply to White parents: what are you teaching your white preschool age children about racism?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP. I think the range of responses here is interesting, though I guess not surprising.

Maybe I should have stated in the OP that we have lots of diverse/inclusive books, we live in DC in a mostly black neighborhood, she went to a mostly black daycare, and goes to a mostly black preschool. So we’re good on exposure.

I had assumed that was sufficient, but I’ve read, on some of the links/articles mentioned above and some other places as well, that exposure isn’t enough.  We need to be talking to kids, before age 5 or 6, because by that time they’ve already developed opinions about race and “filled in the blanks“ about their observations if no one talks to them about them explicitly. Like, if we teach them that every one is equal, and they see disparity, then they assume the disparity is deserved and will attribute it to the most obvious distinguishing characteristic - race.

Based on what I’ve read, I’m willing to believe that even though it feels to young to say something that we should be talking to her about racism, and I know black families don’t have the luxury of waiting. I’ve already been following several of the IG feeds mentioned above, which echo that message and provide lots of examples of books. And I’ve found a bunch of resources for talking about it with kids older than mine. But I was really hoping for ideas of what to say to my kid. That information seems to be lacking. I see a lot of “say something!” but not what to say.

As it is, I’ve made a few attempts to explain what the signs around our neighborhood mean when she asks. I don’t think I’ve been very successful at getting the point across, though the nice thing is I’m able to see where I can improve based on her responses. Right now she is focused on the man who was killed, which I was using as a reference point. [b]So when we talk about it again I’ll emphasize the history of unfair treatment, which I’ve mentioned as well but that’s not what’s sticking right now. We’ll keep trying[/b]. 
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Emphasizing the history of unfair treatment to a preschooler? Of course it's not sticking! She's what? 3 or 4 years old?

OP, you have good intentions, but I think you need to chill out a bit. Let your daughter enjoy being a kid and enjoy discovering the beauty of life and the beauty of this world. When it comes to the ugliness of this world and things like racism, she's going to learn most by observing how you interact with your black neighbors and others in your community. In my opinion, the "exposure" you reference, coupled with modeling behavior, is sufficient for a preschooler. The history lessons and discussions can come later, but you can't force your child to grow or mature faster by pounding these things into her head. She's not going to get it at that age.   [/quote]

If you don't think that three and four year olds understand the concept of fairness, I don't know what to say to you.  [/quote]

Well, there's one thing I can say to you. Maybe read a bit more closely before rushing to judgment. The PP did not say that three and four-year olds don't understand the concept of fairness. He/she (rightly) said that three and four-year olds are not going to understand the history of unfair treatment.

I happen to think the average four-year old gets the concept of fairness better than most adults, especially those on DCUM.[/quote]

I read it just fine, thanks.  A four-year old can understand fairness (you agree), then they can understand that there is a history of unfair treatment.  There are ways to frame these discussions so that they make sense to four-year olds.  It is exactly because a four-year old gets the concept of fairness better than most adults that you should be talking to them about it now![/quote]

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