Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To the men: did it ever occur to you that perhaps you are just not good in bed and that is the reason why your wives refuse to sleep with you?[/quote]

As much as I hate to reinforce angry sexless guys point - I cheated on my zero libido wife and my AP told me I was the best she ever had.  So no, I don't think i was or most men or women being denied by their husbands are the problem [/quote]

Agreed. My husband is fine in bed.It isn't him, it's me. Coming up on menopause. Bored with him after 20 years of marriage. We drifted apart in part because our marriage was very child focused, and then because[b] we had some trauma and resentment.[/b] End result for me is that sex with DH just isn't appealing,[b] even if he CAN make me cum. Really sex is not all about cumming. It's the journey, and I'm not interested in that journey with him[/b].[/quote]
Exactly... resentment is a sex killer, and for most women, the libido starts in the brain.  But that does not mean that every woman who resents her husband for something wants a divorce. It is situational, and sometimes the resentment isn't enough to warrant a divorce, but it doesn't mean that they want to hop into bed with him for the moment, either.  Just because she is angry with you for a time doesn't mean you have the right to go have an affair.  No person in a marriage should be afraid to be angry with their spouse for fear that spouse will cheat on you. That's absurd, and all that tells me is that the cheating spouse is selfish, and the marriage is all about him him him.

And to a PP, both men and women stay in sexless/loveless marriages for various reasons, one of which is children. That is why once the kids go off to college, you see divorce rates go up.
[/quote]

So a woman can resent her jerkface husband JUST ENOUGH to not want sex with him, but NOT enough to divorce him.  She wants the benefits of marriage without providing any .... benefits to him. Got it.

Here we have ANOTHER confirmation of the man's fix to a sexless marriage: declare it open.[/quote]
So a man can be a jerk all the time JUST ENOUGH so that she won't divorce him, and he feels he can continue to be a jerk to her and expect her to put out?  She decides that she will stay in the marriage for the children which in many cases benefits the children and their finances, including the husband's.

I swear, some men act like sex is the only thing that matters in the marriage. Yes, sex is important, but seriously, you come across as this is the only thing you care about. You don't seem to be *listening* to anything women have posted here.  No wonder you are in a sexless marriage.  How's your strategy working for you?  Not so great, it seems.

Thankfully, my DH did learn to listen to me, and now he gets sex regularly. [/quote]

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