Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To the men: did it ever occur to you that perhaps you are just not good in bed and that is the reason why your wives refuse to sleep with you?[/quote]

As much as I hate to reinforce angry sexless guys point - I cheated on my zero libido wife and my AP told me I was the best she ever had.  So no, I don't think i was or most men or women being denied by their husbands are the problem [/quote]

Agreed. My husband is fine in bed.It isn't him, it's me. Coming up on menopause. Bored with him after 20 years of marriage. We drifted apart in part because our marriage was very child focused, and then because[b] we had some trauma and resentment.[/b] End result for me is that sex with DH just isn't appealing,[b] even if he CAN make me cum. Really sex is not all about cumming. It's the journey, and I'm not interested in that journey with him[/b].[/quote]
Exactly... resentment is a sex killer, and for most women, the libido starts in the brain.  But that does not mean that every woman who resents her husband for something wants a divorce. It is situational, and sometimes the resentment isn't enough to warrant a divorce, but it doesn't mean that they want to hop into bed with him for the moment, either.  Just because she is angry with you for a time doesn't mean you have the right to go have an affair.  No person in a marriage should be afraid to be angry with their spouse for fear that spouse will cheat on you. That's absurd, and all that tells me is that the cheating spouse is selfish, and the marriage is all about him him him.

And to a PP, both men and women stay in sexless/loveless marriages for various reasons, one of which is children. That is why once the kids go off to college, you see divorce rates go up.
[/quote]

So a woman can resent her jerkface husband JUST ENOUGH to not want sex with him, but NOT enough to divorce him.  She wants the benefits of marriage without providing any .... benefits to him. Got it.

Here we have ANOTHER confirmation of the man's fix to a sexless marriage: declare it open.[/quote]

Men benefit from marriage in other ways besides sex.  
Children, family, stability, cooking/cleaning, social life, etc.  There is another man on here who stayed in a sexless marriage all the while planning divorce as soon as the children went to college.  He also wanted the benefits without providing any...[/quote]

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