Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Woman here invading this group. My husband is always very sweet to me and never criticizes or belittles me. That makes me want to be very sweet and nice to him and sex is part of that. And when we have sex he almost always asks what I’d enjoy because it’s not always the same and I do my best to make him happy. [/quote]

Another women here. Agree with this. My entire life I used to lose interest in sex within 2-3 months of a relationship. I thought it was biological. Turns out I just picked jerks, and once I found one who treated me well, I found that I wanted sex more and more over time, not less. [/quote]
So if a woman doesn’t want sex, it’s because her husband is a jerk. I get that, makes perfect sense: nobody wants sex with a jerk!

But wait: if he really is this total jerk, he would know (because she would say so) in fact she would quickly divorce him! Because who stays married to a jerk? So this “no sex with a jerk” theory cannot apply to this thread, because these guys aren’t divorced, and their wives aren’t calling them jerks, therefore they can’t be jerks.

Try again please?[/quote]

*shrug* A lot of people won't get divorced for various reasons- kids, finances, societal pressure. I mean, you can apply your same logic and say "no man would stay married to a woman who won't have sex with him! Who stays married to that? So your "wife won't have sex with me" doesn't apply this thread, therefore all the men here are actually getting laid!"

If you want to keep telling yourself it's not your fault your wife won't sleep with you, go ahead. Doesn't affect my life at all, and I'm happily getting laid several times a week. [/quote]

You are saying that a sexless wife (secretly) WANTS to divorce her jerk husband except ... he’s a provider, and her divorced-over-35-mom-with-joint-custody life would be too hard. She wants to continue getting her benefits of marriage while providing him no ... benefits. Is this your message?

Also: you are calling these wives liars. Because a husband who isn’t getting sex due to being a jerk.... surely must KNOW he is a jerk! Unless his wife is being dishonest. Is that it? The men really ARE jerks but the wives are LYING about it? Because a jerk is more likely to stop being a jerk if his wife keeps this a secret?

The men are being honest. Their sexless wives KNOW their husband is unhappy about not getting laid. The men aren’t pretending to be happy about no sex while (manipulatively) thinking that keeping this secret will result in... sex.

And your counter argument (who stays married to a wife who won’t have sex) fails because sex can be had elsewhere, whereas a jerk husband will just keep on being a big old jerk.

Try again please?[/quote]

I don't know what to tell you, man. Every woman I know- myself included- who lost interest in sex did so because their husband wasn't a good partner.

You can keep telling yourself whatever you want about how it's all your wife's fault that she won't sleep with you. It probably won't help you get laid. From the way you word your posts, you sound bitter and sarcastic, so I'm not surprised she isn't interested.

Happy to provide you with some resources if you're interested in improving your marriage. [/quote]

So you immediately left your husband, because who stays with a bad partner? And well before you leaving,[b] he was clear about being a jerk, yet he wanted to remain a jerk?[/b]

Your guidance seems to be: she loses interest mean [b]romantic relationship is over.[/b] If a husband want to stay together as platonic room mates, open the marriage. Otherwise divorce. Do NOT keep doing chores expecting sex (ever). Thank you for confirming the well know solution to a sexless marriage.[/quote]

This is interesting to me.  Do you think that most men who have been told that they are jerks by their wives are really trying hard not to be jerks anymore? [/quote]

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