Reply to If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?

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Reply to "If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know men hate to hear it but sex for much of most women's lives is mental. If she is not 'feeling' you she won't be 'feeling' you. 
LIke others above, if i let my DH kiss me, snuggle with me etc I know I am about to get groped and expected to have sex because it gets him horny feeling me. Yes, that is nice to hear, but sometimes I want to just snuggle with my husband or hold his hand without him gearing up for an hour of sex. 
That brings me to another point. The length of time. [b]My DH could get done in about 45 seconds [/b]but insists on this long drawn out sex act each time. I explain to lets keep it light or how about a quickly but he just wants it all. The touching every inch of my body, the licking me, etc etc. If he could occasionally[b] just do it and be done[/b] we would do it a lot more. 
Initiating. I do. Almost all of the time because i know when I am up for an hour of sex and when I am not. We do it on average 1x per week, sometimes more. But honestly, other than that I have nothing to give. Times where i go through the mostions and he doesn't feel I am 100% in it becomes a huge fight. Its not all the time i feel this way, but sometimes and I do get into it, just not crazy. But THAT is not good enough for him. So i only initiate when i can give it my all.

See a pattern?? Nothing is ever good enough for DH and sex. THey either want it more, want it more passionate, want it longer. Its like just do it and be done. NO college guy is out there licking his girlfriend who is going crazy for an hour more than 1x per week. Just not happening so why DH thinks as a 45 year old man he should no idea.

Also, my mood for it depends on how his mood is toward me. Weeks where i am stressed and he steps up without me begging him to, i am MUCH MUCH more likely to get it on with him. I hate having to 'mother' him to do things adults should just do (dishes, laundry, vacuum, play with the kids, help with homework). He has never asked my help or reminded me to do one damn thing around the house and it all gets done. I hate having to remind him of things HE should be doing and know about. That is my biggest turn off ever and suspect a lot of men are turning off their hot wives because they force their wives to micromanage them and treat them like children. [/quote]

I usually hear women complaining that there's not enough foreplay, men orgasm too fast, etc. This is the opposite of what I would expect to hear.
[/quote]

Do we want BAM quickie every time? no. But do want drawn out hours of sex every time? No. [/quote]

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