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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You being concerned about your wife not getting sleep and obsessively pumping is one thing. You saying she doesn’t spend time with or care about the baby is another. It is hard to know if this means you are a jerk - making it about you - or if she truly has PPD.

How many hours a day do you have a babysitter? How do you know how much time your wife is with the baby? Do you work from home?

If she is home taking care of the baby most of the day, it makes sense that she takes a little break and you do most of the work with the baby when you get home. Her pumping is probably a little break for her.

If she had initial supply issues, it makes sense that she gets up at night to pump still.

You are clearly unhappy because you are posting about it. What exactly is making you unhappy? Why do you care that she spends time pumping? Is it because you have less time to do what you want?

I would definitely put off having another one. You are clearly not on the same page.

Just remember this is just a short phase and will pass soon. [/quote]

OP here. I would be fine if she were happy and still spending time as a family, but she isn’t. I don’t think she has PPD - she loves our son. I think she is just tying to make brought milk for the baby. We did a combo of breast milk an drink formula for the first two months and things were fine. She still tried to nurse and pumped, but she was sleeping, happy, and loved being with the baby. Then one LC told her she needed to stop formula feeding if she didn’t want to lose breast milk and be able to successfully feed. She was shamed at the grocery store when a woman next to her told her he was too young to be on a bottle and to be formula fed ( she was buying bottles and formula). Then she started obsessively pumping, and we stopped formula feeding when she started making enough. I think her moodiness is because of lack of sleep. She pumps every 2-3 hours around the clock.

She started to work from home at 4 months but said she couldn’t handle work, the baby, and pumping. She decided to delay going back to work until 6 months. Then she said it was a hard long day with pumping and being tired to watch the baby. We hired a sitter to come a couple of times a week, but that quickly changed from her working M-TH, 8-4. She sometimes comes on Friday too. My wife spends a decent amount with him. His daily routine is up at 7, eat + play, nap from 9-10:30, eat + play, nap 12:30-2:30, eat + play, nap 4:30-5, eat + play, and sleep 8-7. She pumps for 30-60 minutes at each pump at roughly 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, 10, 1, and 4. She then will play with baby for maybe 30 minutes during awake periods. She wants downtime when I get home. I come home around 5/6, cook dinner, put baby to bed, clean up, and then we eat. She is pumping during some do that time, and relaxing in our bedroom.

Our son is almost 5 months old. I want to be clear that I have no issue with her breastfeeding. If she were sleeping and happy, I wouldn’t care, but her mood shift is the issue. I don’t think it’s healthy, and I’m not the only one that has noticed a change and tried to talk to her. She wants to try for a second baby at 6 months. I’m not sure if she plans to wean, because she had been reading and watching blogs about women who breastfeed or pump while still getting pregnant. I no longer want to have a second child at this point because I think it will be too hard on her body. She is 38. [/quote]

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