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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she is pumping every 2-3 hours, she is not getting REM sleep.  One needs 4 hours (or so)  in a stint to do that.  That would concern me.  If she is getting at least one 4 hour stint, then I would not be as worried.  [/quote]

OP here. She pumps everyday at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, 10, 1, and 4. Sometimes she will do every 2 hours between 1 and 7 because she said she gets the most milk then. I am not the only one that as noticed a change in her. Her mom, my MIL, and her sister have all said the same thing and have tried to talk to her about it. I had suggested introducing more formula multiples times to lessen the stress on her, but she rejected the idea. I'm not controlling and this has nothing to do with it. This has to do with wanting a wife and mother ( for my son) who is present, happy, and in a good mental state. She is none of those things. She rarely spends time with our son because she is in the bedroom pumping. [/quote]

She very likely has PPD/PPA. This is not about the breast feeding, it’s about the pumping. She has gotten into a state of anxiety about not producing enough and is putting herself through a lot of stress. At 4 months the prolactin receptors are already laid down. She would produce more milk if she slept. She needs at least one 4-5 hour cycle to protect her mental health. I slept 8 hrs a night with my second and pumped enough when I woke up for baby to have a bottle at night. Yours isn’t even waking, which by the way is a great sign that he is getting enough nourishment.

I think you need to speak to her dr or midwife about your concerns. This is a lot for you to carry alone. I’m sorry things have been so hard for you and your wife. If I were her I would drop one pump, like the 1 AM one, and see if it did not just make the next one double. That’s what happened to me — sleep was essential to my overall production. Then I would, after two weeks or so, drop the 4 AM one. I hope the dr can talk with her. It is now an important time to protect her health and immunity with sleep given our current situation.

I also want to reassure you both that in two months baby will be on solids and I hope this will aid in recovery. It may take your wife some months to get back to herself. The first year is hard. Good luck.

[/quote]

+1 this is not about breastfeeding, it sounds like she needs a mental health intervention.[/quote]

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